Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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