So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have aggressive nipples.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
