Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
