i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
