I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Randomize