This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
