he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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