dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
