Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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