so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
