I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
nutella sex= disaster
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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