Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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