i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
