After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
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she takes plan B like it's going out of style
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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