Duck Duck Cougar?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
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