Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
