We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
do herpes really smell.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
