He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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