is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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