hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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