i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize