I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
