No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
