I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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