this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
