you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
