FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize