God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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