He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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