I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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