Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
