They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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