just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
