I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
