There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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