Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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