school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
