Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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