dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
