I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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