look no pants
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
