I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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