Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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