he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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