She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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