so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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