Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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