Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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