You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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