His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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