I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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