If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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