I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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