dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
