I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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