other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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