She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
