Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
