I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
MIDGETS
????
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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