forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
