you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
