i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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