if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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