Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
