Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His hands were made for my vagina.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
