do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
