its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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